Still Alive

 In the beginning of a relationship, when things go sour, it is not so much the death of the relationship but the loss of hope that brings unbearable sadness they say. One mourns for the dreams one dreamt, for the laughs one hoped to share, for the warmth in the midst of a cold, dark night. This is the grief that tells us we are capable of love, that we yearn for it no matter what may have happened in the past. 

For me, not only is this grief an intense outpouring of emotion, but perversely, also the trigger that gets me out of my stupor and inertia. It makes me want to make music and write words on a page instead of staring vacantly at a screen. At the heart of it, it tells me I am still alive.